I thought that I’d concentrate on an realtime update, while backdating is taking so much longer than I expected. Things have reached a sort of equilibrium on a daily basis, between struggling with pain, mobility and capability in the mornings and managing things better in the afternoons. Someone from Social Services phoned on Friday to say that I was on top of the list for a home assessment that will decide whether I need a Care Package for a short time at home. Personally, I feel that I only need some help in the mornings as I am too sore to do anything before my boyfriend leaves for work. We have our routine that works for a lot of things, but nothing in place to help me shower or dress. Dressing I can leave until the pain and stiffness eases enough to allow me to try, although this was late afternoon on some days last week.
Showering is probably the biggest problem. We have tried it once and am in no hurry to try again; there were too many problems and tears and it was simply not safe. As helpful as my boyfriend is, he isn’t trained to shower someone who can’t stand without support and such restriction raises more issues than you would imagine. Getting into the shower, over that little step, when you depend on a frame is hard enough itself; but, once you are in, there is nothing but wet walls for support and no way to move when you can’t bear you weight through something. I was terrified of slipping and falling. So, for now I am having thorough sponge washes twice a day and hope that someone will come to our aid with something to enable me to shower.
In the meantime, they did send me round a toilet frame that same afternoon, which has made ahugedifference to me. It was so difficult and taking such a long time to negotiate the toilet, that I was worried I might have an accident at some point. Worry no more! 🙂
On a more positive note, it was Valentine’s Day recently and we had booked a weekend hotel break as we do every year. We were actually going to cancel it, thinking I was just too poorly to manage, but because it was already paid for the hotel wouldn’t allow us and so we made the decision to give it a try. Fortunately, we had only booked somewhere very close by and purely for the hotel facilities rather than any plans to sightsee, so we figured that I may as well struggle there (in luxury) as at home. I think a few people close to me thought I was slightly mad and pushing myself too much too soon, but we all have to make our own decisions and live with them.
We got in touch with the hotel to explain the situation and they were very accommodating, upgrading us to a Disabled Access room that was on the ground floor and very close to the restaurant, bar and spa. I was able to use my zimmer in the bedroom and only had a short distance to manage on crutches, to get to meals. Once that initial morning struggle to get me dressed was out of the way, we would sit at breakfast for at least a couple of hours just taking things very slowly and waiting for my pain relief to kick in. Then eventually we would move across to the bar/lounge area and set up in a cosy corner there for the afternoon. I was happy reading and making some notes for projects I have in mind, while my boyfriend made use of the free Wifi we had been offered to make our stay more enjoyable. Add to that being waited on with lovely food, cakes, tea and hot chocolate… you can probably see why I didn’t want to come home!
So, over all we had a wonderful weekend and I’m so glad that we took the chance, instead of playing it safe. Just to have a change of scenery, to have a reason to wear nice clothes and do my makeup, has given my spirits such a boost that I feel more able to deal with the issues that the Still’s Disease keeps throwing at me; and they do keep coming. Only yesterday, while away, I was presented with a new problem – both of my knees have swollen up, meaning it is now extremely difficult to stand from sitting as I can barely bend from my hips or my knees. My thoughts are that the Tocilizumab infusions aren’t working but we have to persevere a while longer as there are so few options left treatment-wise; we don’t want to write them off too soon.
Roll on March 2nd though.