Things all felt a bit too much for me on Friday; I guess reading about the suggested Stem Cell Therapy affected me more than I expected. So I decided to give the whole thing a rest over the weekend – no reading, or discussing it; in fact, it was a banned subject. I needed some ‘me’ time, some ‘normal’ time, just doing ‘stuff’, which is what I did and I’m pleased to say it worked and I felt much less overwhelmed almost immediately.
On Saturday we went shopping to the retail parks near us. It’s mainly my fiance that does the shopping, while I go along for a ride to give me some fresh air and a change of scenery. I do have a little wander in some of the shops when I can; I love looking at the craft supplies in The Range and picking out cards in the gift shops and yesterday I even made my way round the Supermarket. The good thing with retail parks is I know that the car is close by if I find myself struggling and in need of a rest. I always take a blanket (like a little old grandma!) and sit under that, people watching, until I’m ready to go again. We treated ourselves to a takeaway in the evening, since neither of us was up to cooking, and then settled down to watch The X Factor.
Today, I was a little bit disappointed that I had to let my fiance go to a Christening on his own as I was exhausted from the previous day. It was mainly the fact that I feel we’re missing out on doing these things as a couple that upset me but have to believe it isn’t forever. Staying home was the right thing to do as I didn’t have the best of days. My fevers have been quite bad and I caught sight of myself in the mirror at one point and gave myself a fright, so probably would have scared the kids. Instead, I made the most of this ‘steroid high’ that is keeping any major joint issues at bay and had a go at baking. Just a very quick flapjack recipe, but it felt good going through the motions of measuring and melting and mixing. Soothing really. Plus, there is always that sense of achievement when you have a finished product to share at the end, especially one that tastes good.
So I feel much more relaxed now but I need to make sure it lasts. I will have to face the reading and the decisions I need to make but I also need to know to hold back if it’s getting too much so I don’t get in a state again. I guess it doesn’t help that I am spending so much time on my own during the day; it’s so easy to let emotions run away with you.
I’m going to try and read a little bit more tomorrow, but maybe just one section rather than pages. And I’m going to have something nice lined up afterwards to take my mind off it again. No dwelling on it for the rest of the day – easier said than done but I need to try it.
Like everything, it’s all about balance.