Today was a rather confusing day. I woke up in a lot more pain than usual and several jonts in my arms had started to swell and seize up again; not surprising when I was having to bear my weight through them when using the zimmer frame to walk about. Disappointingly, I needed more help than I had done over the past couple of days and the nurses soon noticed and assured me they’d get in touch with my doctors and the Pain team.
Late morning, the Physios arrived to see me. Despite my painful arm joints, I had to keep on using the zimmer as the ‘lesser of two evils’; I couldn’t come this far in building up my walking, only to let my hard work go down the drain to protect my arms. Plus I was making progress. Since the cortisone injection in my hip the previous day, I was finally able to lift that stubborn left foot of the floor a few centimetres and take a proper step. This did a lot to reassure me that I would get normal function back, because I was still very worried it would be lost at this point.
The Physios had their concerns too: now that I’d had the procedure to my hip, the rest of my recovery was down to rehabilitation and they mentioned that I was due to go to a Residential Mobility Rehabilitation Unit for a few weeks. However, although I’d benefit pysically, they said that because of my age various people felt that it might not be the best place for me emotionally, being mainly old people there. Instead, they had put the suggestion forward to provide the same support within my own home, which to me sounded much better. But I knew I had to have that support in place straight away, because I wouldn’t be able to manage on my own and they agreed. They left shortly afterwards, telling me that they would communicate my thoughts and, if it was agreed that I could avoid the Rehab Centre, would start putting the ‘home plan’ into action. They would see me on Monday to make a start on using crutches.
I have to admit, I was a little worried that I’d end up at the Rehabilitation Centre; my Nan had spent time in one, so I had a clear image of what they were like. It sounded promising that I’d get the support at home though and nothing was going to happen just yet, so I tried not to think about it too much. My main concern for now was to sort my elbow and shoulder joints out, so they wouldn’t prevent me from using the zimmer and carrying on with my walking. The day passed as normal; then, at some point in the afternoon, a doctor I hadn’t seen before came to see me. I assumed that he was one of my Consultant’s juniors, come to assess my joints and pain, (which was quite severe by this point), but instead he declared that I was free to go home!
I was a bit stunned as he left the room. Obviously, it was great news that I could go home, but only hours earlier I had been facing the prospect of a Rehab Centre and talking about my next Physio session on Monday…. then again, it was Friday and I know how they like to clear people out before the weekend if possible! A nurse came in to tell me that my medication was all ready and I asked her all the questions I hadn’t managed to get out with the Doctor: mainly about the support I would receive at home. This wasn’t something she’d been aware of and so she left to chase it up, returning to say that I could only leave when that was arranged and the appropriate equipment provided.
A lot of confusion ensued.
The Physios returned and weren’t very happy that it was all happening so sudden and fast – they had a few hours, last thing on a Friday afternoon, to liase with a different County Trust about providing my care at home – something that proved very difficult, taking over a week to put in place – and to get me up on crutches, ready for home. I was already struggling with the zimmer, but putting weight through my locked elbow using crutches was agony; I knew so and they knew so, but it seemed I just had to grit my teeth and get on with it. I didn’t manage very well – a couple of steps – and the stairs were a nightmare that drove me to tears, but by this point I felt so confused and frustrated with the situation that I just wanted to go home. The Physios had their doubts but the decision had already been made..
Back on the ward, nurses and auxilliaries kept popping in to say their goodbyes. Eventually, my Rheumatologist came to see me and the whole situation suddenly felt too much. Here I was, feeling worse than I had been, unable to do much for myself or to use the crutches to get around and yet being sent home all of a sudden; moreover, I was being told different things by different people about whether I was ready to be home or not. And so I got a bit emotional. I don’t really remember what bothered me the most, I think that was probably the issue – I didn’t know what I felt myself anymore – just bewildered.
My Rheumy explained that I wasn’t actually admitted under his care (as I had come via A&E), but the care of the doctor who had visited me earlier, and it was this doctor’s decision to discharge me. He also explained that now they’d done the procedure, there was little else they could do for me in hospital, but that he was happy to request I stay until Monday if I felt I needed it in order to cope better. But who asks to stay in hospital? If they thought I was well enough to go home, I wanted to go home! Aslong as I had the support they had promised in place. He took a look at my joints before he left for the weekend. There was nothing he could do about the shoulders, since they had only been injected the previous week, but he agreed that we should inject the left elbow. This elbow has troubled me for some time now, swells painfully and locks at an angle, but doesn’t respond very well to cortisone injections; however, it was worth a shot (excuse the pun) if it gave me a better chance with the crutches.
In the end, they weren’t able to provide me with the equipment I needed for home that night and so I had to wait for it the next day. It somehow made staying there harder than it had been, but at least I knew I would be home soon and it gave me a little bit of extra time to practice using the crutches.
I was right to be worried though. Even then, I didn’t realise quite how hard a transition it would be to go home, but we would do it and manage.
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